I told myself,will not fall for you all at once. No, I fell for you so bad—falling for the little things. talking with you is my favorite. It's like looking directly into your core and seeing how truly vulnerable you can be; chatting with me . But what you don't know is that I could never break your heart, because it is the most beautiful thing about you.
I remember the day you told me something about you. They were off the wall and nothing close to what I expected, but they were yours—they were part of you—they made you who you are. Opening up to reveal your vulnerabilities says a lot about you. I always saw the fierce uniqueness burning brightly in you, but your list illuminated that even more. I was hooked.
What I so badly wanted you to see is that I am the girl who will be there for you when you need reminding how amazing you are, because life has you convinced otherwise. The girl who will cherish any time spent with you, simply because it is a chance to be near you. I'm the girl who will make you homemade chicken noodle soup from scratch when you're not feeling well. I'm the girl who will believe you when you say you want to “take things slow” to give us the chance at having something real. But I'm also the girl who will stand up for herself instead of being walked on. I deserve to be happy... but so do you. What so many others our age forget to remember is this: love isn't simply choosing to spend your life with someone. It is waking up every day and making the daily choice to spend the rest of your life with them. Love isn't passive, it's an action—a daily choice. It's perpetual.
But the most important kind of love is the kind we most often neglect: self love.To wake up and remind myself that I am strong, and worthy of being loved the way I wanted to love you. Someday, I will get that kind of love from another person, someone capable of allowing me to love them.
Dear reader: you're beautiful, amazing, and worthy of so much love. Please don't ever forget that... but if you do, I hope you also remember to love yourself first. Because nothing will make you happier than doing what is best for yourself. Be happy. Be free. Be loved.
There was a time when I was quite black-and-white with relationships. I either trusted you implicitly, assuming you'd never intentionally hurt me, or believed you wanted to cause me pain and questioned everything you did.
Once you moved yourself into the latter category, there was no going back.
Eventually, I realized I was limiting my relationships by not recognizing the grey area, where people are human, they make mistakes, and they need forgiveness and understanding.
From there I swung the pendulum the other way—I trusted everyone. I refused to consider that someone's actions might reflect that they didn't truly care.I wanted them to care. I wanted to believe they valued me—that it only meant I was interpreting incorrectly if their actions seemed to suggest otherwise.
But this is where it gets confusing. On the one hand, we often create a lot of meaning in our heads that isn't really there. We may feel convinced someone intended to be rude, inconsiderate, or thoughtless when really that wasn't the case. On the other hand, sometimes actions speak louder than words, and our interpretations may be accurate.Sometimes someone is knowingly hurtful or neglectful. We need to be able to recognize that or we'll end up feeling disempowered, disrespected, and stuck.
Anyone can contradict themselves once or twice. We're only human, and sometimes we make mistakes. It's consistent behavior that conveys how someone really feels. Words can be deceiving, because sometimes when we lie to others it's because we're also lying to ourselves. Trust actions. That's where the truth is.
You might convince yourself that this person is just misunderstood, and that no one else wants to give them the compassion and support you're willing to offer. It's great to be compassionate, but we need to be compassionate with ourselves first—and that means acknowledging what's just not okay.
It can be difficult to recognize those consistently unacceptable actions if you convince yourself you're somehow responsible for them.
You might tell yourself that they regularly ignore your needs because you're too needy. Or they belittle you because you've made mistakes in the past. In other words, you might justify their mistreatment because they try to make you feel like you're the “wrong one” or the “crazy one.”No matter what you've done or how you sometimes struggle, you deserve to be in healthy relationships with people who treat you well.
Odds are, you'd know the truth, and the wisest thing to do. The question now becomes: Can you treat yourself kindly and walk away from what you know isn't right?
In a society that emphasizes the value of 'dominance'I've noticed a significant dearth of men who are actually skilled in this art. Domination has more to do with the quality of one's energy than the genitals between one's legs. However, since domination is a role that requires a more masculine set of skills, we often see men take the 'dominant' role in carnal play.
So why does it seem that, in the (almost) lament of Flannery O'Connor, a good 'dom' is hard to find? In a word: humility. Or lack thereof. We've seen the stereotype: men craving bigger, better, faster cars and younger, blonder, sexier women in order to feel 'on top' in the world. Cream the competition. Leave no prisoners. Never take 'No' for an answer. Feelings are for pussies.
So if dominance is the 'prize,' than anything that is not, i.e. 'submission,' is viewed as 'the loser,' 'less than' or 'beneath.' However, nothing could be further from the truth. Feeling is essential in domination, vanity is poison and submission is considered the 'power position.'
Think less like a lizard and more like a sculptor: there is the clay, the artist and the sculpture within. Contrary to what may appear to be happening, the sculptor is not 'controlling' the scene, nor is he 'better than' the clay or the sculpture within. The sculpture determines the next stroke and the clay relays this message to the sculptor's hands. The same applies in power play. Desire, or that which yearns for expression, channels orgasm through the submissive to the dominant.
Therefore, though dominance is a role requiring strength and solidity, it also includes humility, respect and 'beginner's mind.'
This is an open letter to anyone whom I crossed paths with for the previous months and to those whom I will be crossing in the future.I may not be like anyone of you.I don't speak the same language,don't have the same religion,belief and philosophy but I am not pretending to be something I'm not.People can make you change your habit,your ways and I have my own shares of unusual changes for the previous months.Some I liked and loved,some I'm still trying to adapt to.But change is something inevitable,something unpredictable.It makes one's skin tougher and makes one stronger.I never imagined myself vested in sharing my life with other people and listening to others as well.Learned a lot from the casual talk people are offering.Though not everyone are friendly and accomodating,some are rude and full of shit but hey,whatever helps them sleep at night,let them be.
I realized all of these when the people you consider friends lets you lose your face and push you further down to the ground,while strangers will lend an ear and listen.When your pillar is crumbling down and everything seems to be darker than dark.I am born not perfect and am trying not to be one.No one is and no one will be.If there is one living now,then damn you're pretty lucky.
To sum up it up,I'm not here to create enemies but to gain friends and to learn something new and teach something new.I am like each and everyone of you,putting my mark in the superficial world we are living in.One way or another we are the same and different.
Lettre ouverte Il s'agit d'une lettre ouverte à tous ceux avec qui j'ai traversé les mois précédents et à ceux que je vais traverser dans le futur. Je ne serai peut-être pas comme chez vous. Je ne parle pas la même langue, je n'ai pas la même religion, les croyances et la philosophie, mais je ne prétends pas être quelque chose que je ne suis pas. Les gens peuvent vous faire changer votre habitude, vos façons et j'ai mes propres actions de changements inhabituels pour les mois précédents. Certains m'ont aimé et aimé, certains j'essaye encore de m'adapter. Mais le changement est quelque chose d'inévitable, quelque chose d'imprévisible. Il rend la peau plus dure et la rend plus forte. Je ne m'imaginais jamais de partager ma vie avec d'autres personnes et d'écouter les autres aussi. beaucoup de gens qui en ont l'occasion. Tout le monde n'est pas sympathique et arrangeant, certains sont grossiers et pleins de merde, mais bon, tout ce qui les aide à dormir la nuit, laissez-les. Je me suis rendu compte de tout cela lorsque les personnes que vous considérez comme des amis vous permettent de perdre votre visage et de vous pousser plus loin dans le sol, tandis que les étrangers vont lancer une oreille et écouter. Lorsque votre pilier s'effondre et que tout semble plus sombre que sombre. Je ne suis pas parfait et j'essaie de ne pas être un. Personne n'est et personne ne le sera. S'il y a un vivant maintenant, alors, vous êtes plutôt chanceux. Pour résumer, je ne suis pas là pour créer des ennemis, mais pour gagner des amis et pour apprendre quelque chose de nouveau et enseigner quelque chose de nouveau. Je suis comme chacun de vous, mettant ma marque dans le monde superficiel dans lequel nous vivons. D'une manière ou d'une autre, nous sommes les mêmes et différents.